Wednesday, October 7, 2009

When will it be our turn?

Why is it that when someone else in our lives are successful, we start validating our own success or lack there of, to ourselves and others. Success is measured in so many different ways but really it's in the eye of the beholder. We all wish we had more but we fail to realize that everything we have now is everything we need for tomorrow. I have gotten through life with less, but somehow I always want more. I hate feeling like I am owed something and I don’t like waking up feeling “left out” or upset that I haven’t lived up to expectations of others. I am not unhappy and I love my life, but what is it that everyone else is doing that I am missing out on? In this economy I think it is so important to realize that every situation is different. It’s funny because up until 3 weeks ago, when Todd became unemployed, our lives had not really changed that much. It has always been hard for us. Not because of the economy, but because WE have made it hard. We have not made the best decisions in the past and we are still trying to get ahead of the game. But when will this constant battle uphill be over? I can see the top but it seems like we never get there. The point is that is will never be over. Everyday is a new day and we have to make the most of it. Better decisions, better attitudes and we cannot look at other people situations because it is not our situation. We are not in debt, but we have bad credit. We don’t own a house, but we have a beautiful home. There will never be enough money, but we always seem to provide for our children. All these thoughts cross my mind and I try to stay positive, but sometimes I want to say “when will it be our turn”? That is wrong, but I cannot help the way I feel. Everyday I wake up in the morning and get dressed and have such a positive attitude about life. I always will have a smile because I know that it could be so much worse; I've been there and seen rock bottom. I keep climbing because that is who I am. When you reach the top, where do you go from there? I may never reach the top but I am content with that. Is that good or bad? Maybe that is what I am missing.


Unknown said...

I am so glad that I am not the only one that feels like that. Faith, prayer, family, and friends really help me get through the hard times. I love what you are doing. It helps to know that you are not alone in the world. KEEP IT UP GIRL!!!!!!!! You are where you are supposed to be. God is watching over you.

Adria said...

I try to put things in a different perspective. I may not have a ferrari but I have a car thats paid off while many people dont. I may have cute but rotten kids but a lot of people cant have kids or have lost them. You have a wonderfully beautiful life that many could only dream of. Lots of Love