Interpersonal thoughts....

My emotions often get the best of me as they do for a lot of people. My needs always seem to take a back seat but when I want something, I seem to get it. I don't ask for it, I do it for myself.

My inner core is something I find reaching for and striving to unleash it as a part of my daily routine. I am a Christian, I attend church regularly, I volunteer my time, I tithe, etc. All of these things give me a better quality of life and they allow me to see beyond what I think I am capable of. But then, real life and real problems happen and I find myself back in the black hole crawling myself out.

The analogy I use for everything: life, sex, faith, parenting (teaching my kids about sex vs love) is a puzzle.

Imagine a million pieces. You get off to a good start and you find matching pieces. But then you find that you desperately want a certain puzzle piece to match what you already have completed; but it doesn't. And you know it doesn't fit but for whatever reason, you try so hard to make it fit. You force it; not anyone else, but you.

If you would have just moved on to find the next piece instead of forcing one that didn't fit, you would feel and be so much better off to begin with.

People have different perspectives, but I can say from experience this analogy works. It works because we often place blame on someone else instead of looking at ourselves. It is a natural way of thinking. But at some point in our lives we will look back and realize how many things we could have changed, if we just stopped and found the right piece instead of wasting so much time and effort on the wrong one.

Energy

It seems like 2011 is on a roll and moving faster than ever! My best friend is getting married, my brother moved to another state, my parents are about to go on another cruise, my sister is moving, my daughter had her first kiss, and my other daughters are playing softball, Todd is with a new company that bought the old company, mid-terms are almost here, then spring break, then NY vacation, then summer, new school year, birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas and it will be 2012 before I know it. Man…I’m tired and it’s only February! So how can I slow down? I guess if I have a chance to breathe, I will take it!

Energy, Determination, Motive, Confidence; these are my four key words for the year (one word for each quarter). This quarter is Energy, if you read above, you will see why!

I probably have too much energy for most people, but for my everyday life I need it. But even though Energy is my key word this quarter, I want to put more Energy into slowing down rather than speeding up. I heard on the radio that most mothers yell at their kids for the same things; clothes & cleanliness, attitude & disrespect. But they said that next time you find your kids shoes on the floor and their room trashed, just be thankful. Use the Energy that you would use to yell at them and instead use it to realize how lucky we are to be parents. Slow down your thoughts. Use that Energy and tell yourself ‘you have kids that have Energy and physical capabilities to run and have fun with their friends’. So the 5 minutes of huffing and puffing at your kids, really should just be quiet, calm and collected. At least try! If you can do this once a week while picking up your house, think of what could come out of it.

It is not about having Energy, it is about the way you use it. Shine on!!

My Heart

Most of you know that my family is very important in my life. I have 2 wonderful parents and 2 wonderful siblings. When we were younger, it wasn't picture perfect but we had some good times. As adults we have grown so much closer and as our family expanded through marriages and children it has only gotten better!

Ray and his wife Katie are two of the most amazing people I know. They recently had their second child, a little girl named Callie. Brayden is 2 years old and he is the sweetest and funniest boy ever! I call Brayden my ‘buddy’ and Callie is my ‘princess’. Ray has turned out to be not just successful in his job, but also successful with his faith, marriage and now fatherhood. I am so very proud to call him my brother and I often seek advice from him as he always seems so levelheaded and knowledgeable in every situation. He just accepted a promotion with his current employer Exxon/Mobile that will relocate them to Akron, OH for 18 months. I am so sad to see them go, but so very excited for their family as they take on the world! Knowing my brother, this is exactly what he had in mind!

Stephanie and her husband Matt have been married for almost 2 years. They had Bryce almost 7 months ago and he is the best baby ever! He is a big boy with a big heart and at only 7 months knows how to smile and melt your heart. I called him ‘Brycer rycer’. Stephanie is going on her third year as a teacher and loving it. She is such an amazing mother and she made the transition seamless. She is strong in her faith as well setting examples for others including her nieces. I am so proud of her for knowing what she wanted and going after it. Even though she doubts herself, she never let anyone tell her that she couldn't do it. I am so happy that they live less than 2 miles from us so that we can see Bryce whenever we want to!

As I look back over the last 10 years and how our family has changed so quickly, it makes me want to write about how lucky I am. I am so happy that my parents and my siblings have lived so close and we were all able to watch our lives change together. I love you all and each of you is so very important to me.

You're in a cage and I’m in a box…..I broke through so can you!

How often do you look at someone’s posting of a good quote and get inspired? For me, it has to be more than a quote; I want the story behind it. So I began wondering if anyone had ever researched any of the stories behind these great quotes. Well I haven’t either! But the quote above is mine and I can tell you the story behind it!

Everyone always tells me that one day I will be great, or one day I will learn how to use my potential. What does that mean and how the heck do they know? I am in charge of my own life and a rebellious person like me is not going to let anyone tell me what I will become. Even if it’s positive, I won’t believe them until I have made it happen. They are the one’s defining my box but I am the one living in it! The only way to get outside of the box that society has given me is to break through it daily!

Just think of your 401K. (If you don’t have one, GET ONE!) How often do you look at your investments? Do you just put money into accounts and just leave it alone, or do you look at it to see if you actually have a positive rate of return? Most of us will trust someone to tell us where to put our money to make the highest rate of return. Why? It’s your money, why would you let someone else tell you where to put it. Do it yourself and research what is best for you!

Same thing applies in your everyday busy and crazy life! Invest in what is best for you! Whether it is education, entrepreneurship, new sphere of influence, change in habits, cosmetic surgery, etc…you get the idea! Find something that inspires you and research it. You may find that once you start taking more control in your own life, happiness is sure to follow and your quality of life starts to have a higher personal rate of return!

Just my outlook....

Last weekend, I attended a company Christmas party as well as a surprise birthday party and I wanted to make note of what were some of the nicest things people have ever told me.

One of my co-workers and his wife came up to Todd and me and said how grateful he was that I carry so much enthusiasm around with me. He said I was contagious! At the birthday party, I was approached by someone who I had never met. She told me that she hears about me all the time and now that she has met me in person, she said that I was so cool to hang out with. She also asked me how I do it.

I simply told her that when I am surrounded by people who accept me for who I am, I could not care less about what other people think. This prompted me to stop and think about my relationships with my friends. I have never had to apologize for being who I am. I stopped wasting time a long time ago dwelling on thoughts I had no control over. This thought prompted me to something else.

When people express to me that they are struggling with a situation, and they can’t control it, I tend to get upset and I don’t mean to. I am hard in that sense. People so many times chose the easy way out by placing blame on someone else, that they forget who is in control of their lives. If I hold a grudge or fail to let go of something that has affected my life, then it is my own fault for choosing the wrong way to deal with the situation all together.

Romans 12:9-21: I will just reference this verse for your own review. As many verses in the bible do, this scripture seeks me out when there is a situation where I am being judged or if I am doing the judging. It is a breath of fresh air to know I don’t have to carry a weight on my shoulders.

In this New Year, I hope people realize that no matter if they have forgiven but not forgotten, if they dwell on personal issues, if they think no one will accept them for who they are, just remember that we meet people for a reason. They are here to help us learn to love and grow as a person. These people may not be the right people, but for whatever reason they are in our lives. All drama aside, our arms should be open just as big as our hearts.

This note is extremely important; it took me years to finally learn. When you go for your dreams, everyone is NOT going to applaud you. They're just not. You can't satisfy everyone as YOU go for your dreams but you also can't reject the people that stand by to cheer you on. Remember: in life you can make your own decisions or you can let others make them for you. The key is staying true to your self and not let people pressure you in to being less of a person.

1 year really?

It has been over a year since I have blogged! 2010 has been a whirl wind year. I went back to school so I can finish my bachelors degree and I have been going non stop ever since. The only blogging I have done is for Intercultural communication and I have over 100 posts! So I apologize that I haven't had a free moment.

This year has been extremely hard for Todd and I. We have been trying to buy a house, we saved money, and did everything we were told to do. Then 2 weeks before closing, rules had changed and we were not made aware of it. So we lost the house and about $3K in our hard earned money.

I feel like I haven't had time to go to church, which really means I have been so selfish and lazy. I feel it too. I feel like there is something missing and I know it is because I have been disconnected from God. So Todd and I have both made the commitment to start going no matter what. It is hard for me, because he is not always here to go, but I am going to go by myself regardless. I need to go.

Leah is growing into such a young lady and I feel like it was yesterday when was laying in my arms in the hospital. Now she is 13, babysitting, boyfriends, and boobs! We are so very proud of her. She is taking her SAT this January as she was chosen because of her high TAKS scores. She made the cheer squad, the "A" Volleyball team and now she is training to run track in the spring. She has remained humble, generous and has such a big heart for her family. We are so fortunate to have such a wonderful young lady.

Lacey will be needing braces ASAP! She also gets a cell phone at the end of this school year. She proved to us that she is responsible by making A's in school and also making sure her chores are done at home. She has really changed over the last year. She is getting taller and more dramatic for sure! She still has the ability to make anyone laugh and has the best dance moves EVER! She said that she is too embarrassed to dance in front of people, but we all know that is not true!

Julie had a hard transition into the 2nd grade but she is doing great and is making A's and B's. She started playing softball this year and she was really good and really enjoyed it. She cannot wait until spring season to start playing again. She is becoming a little lady herself. She finally is becoming less independent on her sisters and started doing her own thing. She is a lot like Leah when she was younger. Jules loves her cousins and is almost always willing to help when she is needed. She bring so much happiness and completes are family so well.

Well, in a nutshell, that has been our year. I will try and put more into my blog in 2011. I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I will close with this.

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I thank you everyone for being in my life.

When will it be our turn?

Why is it that when someone else in our lives are successful, we start validating our own success or lack there of, to ourselves and others. Success is measured in so many different ways but really it's in the eye of the beholder. We all wish we had more but we fail to realize that everything we have now is everything we need for tomorrow. I have gotten through life with less, but somehow I always want more. I hate feeling like I am owed something and I don’t like waking up feeling “left out” or upset that I haven’t lived up to expectations of others. I am not unhappy and I love my life, but what is it that everyone else is doing that I am missing out on? In this economy I think it is so important to realize that every situation is different. It’s funny because up until 3 weeks ago, when Todd became unemployed, our lives had not really changed that much. It has always been hard for us. Not because of the economy, but because WE have made it hard. We have not made the best decisions in the past and we are still trying to get ahead of the game. But when will this constant battle uphill be over? I can see the top but it seems like we never get there. The point is that is will never be over. Everyday is a new day and we have to make the most of it. Better decisions, better attitudes and we cannot look at other people situations because it is not our situation. We are not in debt, but we have bad credit. We don’t own a house, but we have a beautiful home. There will never be enough money, but we always seem to provide for our children. All these thoughts cross my mind and I try to stay positive, but sometimes I want to say “when will it be our turn”? That is wrong, but I cannot help the way I feel. Everyday I wake up in the morning and get dressed and have such a positive attitude about life. I always will have a smile because I know that it could be so much worse; I've been there and seen rock bottom. I keep climbing because that is who I am. When you reach the top, where do you go from there? I may never reach the top but I am content with that. Is that good or bad? Maybe that is what I am missing.